Lightning Fill In The Blank

May 25, 2019
Originally published on May 25, 2019 12:08 pm
Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Alonzo and Tom each have three. Faith has two.

SAGAL: Faith, you're in third place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, former White House counsel blank defied a House Judiciary Committee subpoena.

FAITH SALIE: McGahn.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Several film productions have stopped filming in Georgia in protest of the state's new blank law.

SALIE: Oh, heartbeat bill.

SAGAL: Yeah. Abortion law.

SALIE: Anti-abortion law.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, lawmakers in New York approved a bill that would let Congress see Trump's blank.

SALIE: Tax returns.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, John Walker Lindh, the American who joined the blank in Afghanistan, was released from prison.

SALIE: Taliban.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a fugitive in Connecticut has agreed to turn himself in if blank.

SALIE: He gets 15,000 likes on Facebook.

SAGAL: For his wanted poster. That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study released Wednesday warns that rising blank levels could displace 200 million people over the next 80 years.

SALIE: Ocean.

SAGAL: Yeah. Sea levels, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the Golden State Warriors swept the Portland Trail Blazers to advance to the blank Finals again.

SALIE: NBA.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, celebrity chef Jose...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Andres shared his newest recipe with the world - potatoes roasted on a pan with blank.

SALIE: Oh, armpit cheese.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Potatoes roasted on a pan of compost.

SALIE: Oh.

SAGAL: The chef's new recipe combines potatoes with salt, coffee grounds and, quote, "scraps from your compost bin." The instructions say you should preheat your oven to 450, insert the potatoes sprinkled with coffee grounds, add garbage to taste. And then order a pizza.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She sets a high mark. She got seven right, 14 more points - total of 16 and the lead.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Congratulations. That was quite good. Well, we have flipped a coin in the back. And, Alonzo, is it heads or tails?

ALONZO BODDEN: Heads.

SAGAL: It is heads. Alonzo, do you want to go second or third?

BODDEN: Let's get it out of the way.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Let's go right now.

SAGAL: All right. On Sunday, President Trump told Fox News that he was doing everything he could to avoid a war with blank.

BODDEN: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, WikiLeaks founder blank was charged with violating the Espionage Act.

BODDEN: Assange.

SAGAL: Right. This week, federal prosecutors...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Accused Michael Avenatti of stealing over $300,000 from his former client blank.

BODDEN: Stormy Daniels.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the White House announced that a $20 bill featuring blank would be delayed.

BODDEN: Harriet Tubman.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a group of firefighters in Arizona got more than they bargained for when they battled a blaze in a house that was blank.

BODDEN: On fire?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was to be expected. The surprise was it was also filled with snakes. While giving the commencement address at Morehouse College, billionaire Robert F. Smith blanked.

BODDEN: Oh, he agreed to pay their student loans off.

SAGAL: He paid off everyone's student loans. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After beating the San Jose Sharks in six games, the St. Louis Blues advance to the blank.

BODDEN: NHL Stanley Cup Final.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After being pulled over, a Nebraska man...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Wanted on two outstanding warrants, gave police a fake name. But they didn't believe him because he was blank.

BODDEN: Oh. He gave a woman's name, he's a man.

SAGAL: No. They didn't believe his fake name because he was also wearing a nametag.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...Officers pulled the guy over because his car matched the description of one owned by a fugitive named Markel Towner. But when questioned, the man said that his name was Deangelo Towns, a name very different. Police would have left it there if the man weren't also wearing a nametag that very clearly said, hi, my name is Markel Towner.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The man was arrested and has pled not guilty. But that was before police found a piece of paper in his pocket titled a list of all the crimes that I, Markel Towner...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Have committed. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: So close. He got six right, 12 more points, 15, one behind Faith.

TOM PAPA: Ooh.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: How many, then, does Tom need to win?

KURTIS: Seven to win.

SAGAL: This is for the game, Tom. Fill in the blank. On Monday, Michael Cohen said that he was instructed to lie to Congress about negotiations to build the Trump Tower in blank.

PAPA: Moscow.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Early results from India's national election show blank winning a second term.

PAPA: Modi.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a judge ruled that the subpoena for blank's records from Deutsche Bank could proceed.

PAPA: Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a string of violent protests reacting to the reelection of Joko Widodo, authorities in blank restricted social media use throughout the country.

PAPA: New Jersey.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Indonesia. After trying unsuccessfully to return an item to Amazon four times, a woman in San Francisco blanked.

PAPA: Yelled at...

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: ...Siri?

SAGAL: No. A woman went to Amazon's shareholder meeting and tried to return it directly to Jeff Bezos.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

PAPA: Hilarious.

SAGAL: On Sunday, the series finale of blank set viewing records for HBO.

PAPA: "Game Of Thrones."

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Massachusetts man called 911 to say someone had...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Broken into his home and blanked.

PAPA: Lit his farts on fire.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No, cleaned it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The man and...

PAPA: Ew.

SAGAL: The man and his child got home, discovered the back door open, walked in expecting the place to be ransacked and, in fact, found it to be a lot cleaner than it was when they had left that morning.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Somebody had come in, tidied up, cleaned - they actually - they smelled all the cleaning stuff. So they, like, cleaned the floors and everything and, best of all, included a little origami rose tied on top of the brand-new toilet paper roll.

PAPA: Wow. That is the creepiest story I've ever heard.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Tom do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He's in there - four right, eight more points and total of 11. He's not a winner.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So who is our champion?

KURTIS: Faith.

SAGAL: Faith's a winner.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.